


Pleasant Is the Fairyland

by zvi



Category: Tam Lin by Pamela Lin
Genre: Epistolary, Future Fic, Other, Yuletide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-25
Updated: 2006-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-01 23:35:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zvi/pseuds/zvi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fairies don't forget. They wait for another opportunity to be born.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pleasant Is the Fairyland

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sahiya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sahiya/gifts).



> Blackstock College is a lightly fictionalized version of Carlton College, Pamela Dean's alma mater. I have never attended Iowa State's College of Agriculture or Cornell College, although they are both real. However, they are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to the actual colleges is highly coincidental.
    
    
    **From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    Subject: SISTER: My Future in Ruins  
    Date: 10/15/1995**
    
    Bert, Mother is being entirely unreasonable. I want to go to Blackstock  
    College. It's a lot like her school, without actually being Cornell  
    College of Iowa. I don't want to be somewhere where I'm 'Professor  
    Lane's daughter', but I want to be near family. Grandma and Grandpa will  
    do nicely, I should think.
    
    I don't want to go to Iowa State. It's fine for you, Liberty, you want  
    to be a horticulturalist, and you can't learn about *that* at Cornell.  
    But ISU is far too big for undergraduate work in the liberal arts. And  
    I'm sure they have small colleges near Daddy, but I don't want to live  
    in Chicago. Which I know means I'll have to get a real job to support my  
    passion for theater in the sticks, but I have made my peace with that.
    
    Love, your sister.
    
    * * *
    
    **From: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    Subject: re: SISTER: My Future in Ruins  
    Date: 10/16/1995**
    
    Honor, this would probably have gone over better if you hadn't spent all  
    of junior and senior high school saying that you were going to Cornell,   
    thatit was the best college in the world, and that I was a poopyhead   
    for going to the College of Agriculture.
    
    You're right, though, it is weird. I don't think it's the money, because  
    you should get a faculty discount through Grandpa, and otherwise it  
    should be about the same. Why don't you call Dad and see if you can get  
    him on your side?
    
    Love, your brother.
    
    P.S. That poopyhead comment was more right than you know. I'm taking a  
    class where I have to identify spoor (wild animal shit.) I'm thinking  
    about either doing the forestry major or staying five years and  
    double-majoring, so I'm keeping my options open. I know I want to deal  
    with plants but maybe a greenhouse isn't the way to go.
    
    * * *
    
    **From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    Subject: re: SISTER: My Future in Ruins  
    Date: 10/18/1995**
    
    Daddy is worse than Mommy. He is absolutely insane on the issue of  
    Blackstock, blew up at me on the phone, went into a biting rage, quoted  
    *Lear* at me. I hung up the phone on him. I know you shout back, but I  
    can't do that sort of thing off stage. Theatrics belong in a theater,  
    don't you think?
    
    Anyway, I'll give Grandpa a try.
    
    Love, your charming and well-mannered sister
    
    * * *
    
    **From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    Subject: SISTER: My Hero  
    Date: 10/18/1995**
    
    That's Grandpa, not you, poopyhead. He talked Mommy off the ledge, and I  
    am allowed to go to Blackstock, provided, of course, that the Admissions  
    Office finds me acceptable.
    
    Apparently the great freakout was caused by some evil professor that  
    Mommy and Daddy had in college. Mommy spoke obliquely since I was there,  
    but I think there was inappropriate intimate contact (i.e. sex!)
    
    In any case, I am absolutely forbidden from becoming a Classics major or  
    taking classes from any female classics professors, but otherwise I may  
    pursue my education as I (and my advisor) please.
    
    Love, your clever and persistent sister
    
    P.S. Wash your hands!
    
    * * *
    
    **From: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    Subject: SISTER: Welcome to the real world  
    Date: 10/20/1995**
    
    If there's some question about the admissions office at Blackstock  
    accepting you, you should apply to Cornell and ISU as backup schools.  
    And get a math tutor!
    
    Love, your practical and soapy brother.
    
    * * *
    
    **From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    Subject: SISTER: I'm in!  
    Date: 04/11/1996**
    
    I got the fat letter from Blackstock today! Mommy and I will be filling  
    out all of the financial stuff this weekend and sending it in.
    
    Love, your nearly-a-college-freshman sister.
    
    * * *
    
    **From: editor.idletheme@blackstock.edu  
    Lcc: Interested Freshman 96  
    Subject: The Literary Magazine Wants You  
    Date: 9/11/1996**
    
    You are receiving this e-mail because you indicated you intend to become  
    an English or Classics major, or because you listed 'literary magazine'  
    as one of your high school extracurriculars.
    
    Weak and Idle Theme is Blackstock College's literary magazine, and we  
    definitely want you to join our staff. The magazine publishes poetry and  
    short fiction each term, and sponsors a series of one act play readings  
    during winter term.
    
    If you are interested in being a slush readerreading, copyediting,  
    soliciting advertising, or dramatic reading, please come to our interest  
    meeting Saturday at noon in rehearsal room 15 in the Music and Drama  
    Center. Cheese and pepperoni pizzas will be provided. (Food is 15% of  
    our operating budget!)
    
    Editor, Mabel M.
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    Subject: Re: Finding your path  
    Date: 09/15/1996**
    
    Hah! I was only lost for the first two days on campus. That is the  
    advantage of a) going to a small, liberal arts college, as opposed to  
    Cyclone City and b) landing a roommate who is local. Jenny's uncle knew  
    Mommy in high school. I can't decide if it was or wasn't likely that I  
    ran into someone with connections, however tenuous, to Mommy. The town  
    isn't *that* small, but the people she knew probably are concentrated  
    around Blackstock.
    
    I don't know how I feel about Jenny as a person. She is a MUSICIAN  
    MUSICIAN and sings all the time. She has four instruments in the room:  
    electronic keyboard, flute, saxophone, and a wind instrument I haven't  
    identified. But when she stops making music and starts talking, she's  
    pretty funny. She quotes 30's and 40's musicals, and then tells you the  
    plot of them. She's smart and exotic looking, but not exactly pretty,  
    and she is not, thank god, a morning person.
    
    Classes so far seem easy, perhaps too easy. Maybe it doesn't help that  
    I'm taking Chem for Poets and Bio for Poets, but I do want to get my  
    distribution requirements over with right away. Grandpa assures me that  
    Professor Tinden is an excellent choice for Survey of English  
    Literature, although he thinks I should have skipped Survey and gone  
    straight to Shakespeare.
    
    Tell me more about Germany. If the forest is not very big and scary, why  
    on Earth do they call it the Black Forest? Do the German girls  
    appreciate your face? You are so lucky to take after Daddy.
    
    Love, your sister
    
    P.S. I will be coordinating a play reading series for the literary  
    magazine. Apparently, everyone who worked on it has graduated, so I am  
    just as experienced as any of the returning students.
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    Subject: Monthly status report  
    Date: 10/01/1996**
    
    _Academic_
    
    Grandpa was wrong on the question of Survey vs. Shakespeare. I am  
    entirely ignorant of the Elizabethans (excluding WS) and the Romantics  
    and Chaucer, etc. Prof. Tinden is a dream. She loves everything and she  
    makes me understand why she loves it and she is great, even if when I  
    don't like the *text*.
    
    Science for Poets (the two courses run together in my head, since we  
    started in both of them with DNA) is deadly, deadly dull, but my  
    roommate Jenny is in the bio class, so we poke each other awake. Chem  
    contains a lovely young man named Seth who graciously pokes me there.  
    (Fear not, Mother, Seth is a Kinsey 6 who gets nauseated at the thought  
    of naked girls. I will not have a Liberty Of My Very Own to plague you  
    with.) Labs for chemistry are going pretty well, but the labs for  
    biology not so much. It seems that half of our specimens do not have all  
    of the proper organs. Someone sneaks them in there the night before we  
    show this to the professor and inserts the missing bits. Jenny is  
    considering investing in a polaroid camera.
    
    _Social_
    
    Seth is a sophomore who is perfectly happy to hang out around girls with  
    their clothes on. He has introduced me to a bunch of music majors. They  
    do not get along with my roommate Jenny, who is also a music major.  
    Jenny does modern atonal music, but Seth's crowd is popular music  
    oriented, and never the twain shall meet. Thankfully, Jenny appears to  
    have found a group of people who play bridge(!) at all hours of the  
    night, and is quite content with their company whenever Seth, Katie,  
    Sarah, Michael, or Melissa is over.
    
    There are also a group of juniors in our dorm who are Very Serious about  
    watching television. I drop in for a very silly show about FBI Agents  
    who investigate ghosts on Friday nights, and sometimes Star Trek on  
    Saturday afternoons. I went down Wednesday for Law & Order once, but  
    that's too straightforward for my tastes. No one ever talks, but there's  
    always food available**, and they don't mind if you bring a book.
    
    I have joined the literary magazine, to solicit advertising and organize  
    the winter term playreadings (which means both reading through the play  
    slush pile and finding actors or readers for it.) They started the  
    playreadings six or seven years ago because the old advisor retired and  
    their new faculty sponsor was in theater. The editor is a gorgeous  
    senior with the entirely unfortunate name of Mabel. I am a little bit in  
    love with her, but so is the entire staff of the literary magazine. On  
    the one hand, I feel comforted that I am not, apparently, turning into a  
    lesbian, but on the other hand, I am jealous that they've all had more  
    time to orbit her magnificence.
    
    Love, your daughter
    
    P.S. Why is the food so much worse than Cornell? Or did I only eat  
    dessert at Cornell? In any case, my freshman fifteen is a *negative*  
    fifteen.
    
    **P.P.S Please send cookies, so I have something to share.
    
    * * *
    
    **From: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    To: lane.honnor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    Subject: Re: Re: Is there anybody out there?  
    Date: 11/12/1996**
    
    I did forget about your crazy trimester system. Good luck on your first  
    round of finals!
    
    I am going to spend Christmas in France, if I can get the visa  
    straightened out. (I have a French classmate who thinks spending  
    Christmas traveling is a crime. His family all speaks high school  
    German, so I should be okay for five days.) We'll go to Berlin for New  
    Year's; he says it will be the biggest party I have ever seen.
    
    Sadly, I am going to class for Thanksgiving. But I know a restaurant  
    that serves more food than you can throw a stick at for about five  
    marks, so a bunch of Americans are getting together to have a feast. No  
    turkey, though.
    
    Is Mab your girlfriend or something? Half of your message was about her.  
    If you are a dyke, you should tell Dad before you tell Mom. He's in the  
    *theater* and if he gets mad for a minute, you can hang up on him. He'll  
    calm down by the time he calls back.
    
    Love, dein Bruder
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: jfcohen02@columbia.edu  
    Subject: Re: Live from New York  
    Date: 01/15/1997**
    
    Of course, I gave you my e-mail address so you could write me, Janet! I  
    didn't hang out during Christmas break because I hate you and want to  
    run away from all of my high school friends.
    
    I *was* upset that last day, but not with you. I had a big fight with my  
    dad the night before. He didn't say anything worse than usual, but I  
    shouted back at him. I couldn't tell you about it because it was so  
    stupid. He's mad because I know a girl from the Classics Department.  
    It's not like she's even my friend, we just work on the Literary  
    Magazine together. And I didn't even know Mabel was a Classics major  
    until the end of term, almost. They aren't labeled.
    
    Anyway, tell me about that guy with maybe a girlfriend in California,  
    Nathan? Did he break up with her or what?
    
    xoxo Honor
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    Subject: Monthly Status Report  
    Date: 2/1/1996**
    
    -Academic-
    
    Modern American History is hard. We're working from multiple 'primary'  
    sources to put together a sequence of events (primary in quotes, because  
    mostly we're looking at photocopies of things the professor has gathered  
    for us) and then seeing how multiple histories of the same events match  
    up to our analyses. We don't have to get the 'right' answer, but our  
    answers have to make sense to a history professor, and his standard for  
    proof and logic is different from an English professor.
    
    I am taking Modern American poetry with Professor Evans, as you  
    suggested. It is amazing, and I don't understand at all why you don't  
    like Modern Poetry. The attempt to say something in no more and no fewer  
    words than are required is really admirable, I think.
    
    Math is pretty wretched. I found a tutor through the Student Center, and  
    I believe I shall scrape by with a C. Let us speak of it no more.
    
    -Social-
    
    A girl named Linda from the literary magazine dragged me off to a  
    ballroom dancing class a few weeks ago, and I adore it. There's  
    something about the rigid nature of the music combined with the non-  
    verbal communication that makes me very happy. I am one of the tallest  
    girls in the class, so I'm obligated to be the lead. This is my only  
    complaint, as I'm afraid if I find somewhere proper to dance, I shall  
    never learn to follow.
    
    I had dinner with Grandma and Grandpa last weekend. Grandpa invited a  
    bunch of his favorite students around for tea. The food was good, but I  
    tuned out on the conversation. Grandpa was showing them the latest  
    chapter from his college ghosts book. Sarah, Melissa, and Katie had a  
    triple on Fourth Ericson their freshman year, and they never saw  
    anything spooky.
    
    -Extracurricular-
    
    The playreading series is a success. I recruited readers from Seth's  
    crowd, and they're all big hams. Most of the plays we've read so far  
    have been what was selected from spring of last year. But we've also got  
    a few things that are student translations of foreign or classical  
    works, which is exciting.
    
    Love, your daughter
    
    * * *
    
    **From: editor.idletheme@blackstock.edu  
    To: litmag-l@blackstock.edu  
    Subject: Spring Party  
    Date: 03/7/1996**
    
    The spring party will be the first day of reading period. Meet in front  
    Chester; we are carpooling to my aunt's cabin. So far we have two  
    drivers and three cars.
    
    Attendees are:
    
    Alex  
    Babs  
    Brian  
    Gregory  
    Jane  
    Honor  
    Linda  
    Marcia  
    Sarah  
    Ted
    
    Anyone else who wants in, let me know. You are especially welcome if you  
    can drive in slush.
    
    Editor,  
    Mabel M.
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: jfcohen02@columbia.edu  
    Subject: Feast of Dionysus  
    Date: 3/20/2006**
    
    I think I was the guest of an honor at an orgy last night.
    
    xoxo Honor
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: jfcohen02@columbia.edu  
    Subject: Re: RE: Feast of Dionysus  
    Date: 3/25/2006**
    
    The literary magazine has a party at the end of winter term. We were  
    going way off campus, to Mabel's aunt's place, so I knew there would be  
    booze and maybe pot. And I know that some of the people on the literary  
    magazine are together, so I thought *they* might have sex, if the cabin  
    was big enough.
    
    But we got there, and the first thing Mabel did was make everyone take a  
    shower. I was the only first year who came, so I didn't say anything  
    when everyone seemed to expect it. When I got out of the shower, my  
    clothes were gone and a dress was waiting for me. It was dead gorgeous,  
    like being draped in man-sized flower petals, and it fit me perfectly.  
    When I got to the main room, a giant fire was roaring, and everyone was  
    dressed *differently*, but not everyone was dressed *up*. Mabel was  
    wearing a distressed, deconstructed green and red dress, but it was  
    beautiful and obviously had been made for her to wear like that.
    
    We ate first. It was a feast, but weird: rabbit, quail, country ham,  
    salted fish, oysters, nine or ten kinds of pickled vegetables (but not  
    pickles!), dried mushrooms, olives, and *barrels* of wine.
    
    I drank at least my share of the wine, so I don't remember the exact  
    course of next events, but I do know I had sex with Mabel. The parts  
    involving her directly are sharp in my mind. I think I had sex with  
    Gregory and Ted and Sarah as well, but I'm not that sure about any of  
    them. Sarah and Ted are dating, so I may just remember them having sex  
    near me. I know I remember Alex and Sarah.
    
    It's almost a week later and I'm still in a state of shock, but luckily  
    I wasn't supposed to go home for this break. Grandma and Grandpa are  
    content to believe that my math final combined with organizing the  
    playreadings have killed off all brain cells.
    
    xoxo (but chastely) Honor
    
    * * *
    
    **From: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    Subject: Re: MOM: Honor  
    Date: 25/03/1996**
    
    Mom,
    
    No, I haven't heard from Honor for a few weeks. Everything seemed fine  
    when I heard from her last. If she's having trouble now, ask Grandpa to  
    find out if there's something going on at the literary magazine,  
    especially with the editor. Honor thinks she's in love with her. Also,  
    find out if she's going to pass math. If she's not, it might be as  
    simple as that.
    
    Love, Liberty
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    Subject: Yes, I'm alive  
    Date: 04/01/1996**
    
    I had really awful finals, Mom. I wanted to sleep and eat for a week, so  
    I did. That was all.
    
    I promise I will give you a better status report at the end of the week,  
    when there is something to report. For now, I am taking Intro to Women's  
    Studies, the second Math Class, and International Music Theory. That  
    should get me through the distribution requirements, and I can figure  
    out my major next year.
    
    Your loving daughter
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    Subject: I KNOW YE NOT  
    Date: 04/01/1996**
    
    {no text sent}
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: jfcohen02@columbia.edu  
    Subject: Re: Freaked Out  
    Date: 04/01/1996**
    
    I can't deal with you if you can't deal with me. I can't tell my  
    roommate or my mother or my brother, because they have to deal with me.  
    And I can't tell Seth because he *doesn't* have to deal with me. I hoped  
    I could tell you, but it seems not.
    
    Go with God, Honor
    
    * * *
    
    **From: svenson.seth.1995@blackstock.edu  
    To: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    Subject: Where are you?  
    Date: 04/20/1996**
    
    I haven't seen you for three music classes, and you haven't done  
    ballroom at all this term. Jenny says you still sleep in your room, but  
    she doesn't know when you go to meals. You're not answering your phone  
    messages, and you are FREAKING ME OUT.
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    Subject: Monthly Status Report  
    Date: 05/01/1996**
    
    -Academic-
    
    This semester is much easier than last semester. I think I absorbed most  
    of the Women's Studies material by haunting a college campus in my  
    youth. I kept my math tutor from last semester, and having support from  
    the beginning means I don't head off into the wilds for no good reason.  
    Music Theory is a bit odd, but Seth is taking it with me (they didn't  
    offer it last year, and it counts for both his distribution and his  
    major.) This semester should be much better than last.
    
    -Social-
    
    The literary magazine is just about wrapped up. The proofreaders are  
    correcting the printer's proofs, and we should distribute the spring  
    issue before the reading days. There's supposed to be another large  
    party just after graduation, and, if it's okay with you and my  
    grandparents, I may stay on to attend it.
    
    I've dropped the ballroom dancing. One too many stepped on toes. I may  
    try my hand at fencing in the fall.
    
    Love, your daughter
    
    * * *
    
    **From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    To: medeous.mabel.1992@blackstock.edu  
    Subject: Please talk to me  
    Date: 05/01/1996**
    
    i need 2 talk 2 u about the spring party. i tried 2 leave an answering  
    machine message, but ur tape is full.
    
    Pplease.
    
    honor
    
    * * *
    
    **From: medeous.mabel.1992@blackstock.edu  
    To: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
    Subject: Re: Please talk to me  
    Date: 05/02/1996**
    
    Meet me Saturday at 7 in front of the Student Union. There's a  
    production of Midsummer at the Old Theater. We'll go and we'll talk  
    afterward.
    
    Queen Mab

  


* * *

 
    
    
    CONFIDENTIAL MEMO  
    Date: 05/08/1996  
    From: Robert Snyder, Director of Campus Security  
    To: William Gutheridge, Dean of the College   
    RE: Missing Students Honor Lane and Mabel Medeous

Freshman Jennifer Chin reported to her RA Danielle Bunde that she had not seen her roommate since the evening of Saturday, May 4. Ms. Bunde, after making a few calls to known associates of Lane, discovered that not only had no one seen Honor Lane, but also, no one had seen senior Mabel Medeous. She reported her findings to the Housing Manager, Professor Dora Simpson, at 10 p.m. that night. Professor Simpson immediately called Campus Security, and Officer Christopher Castle alerted the city police. Police came to the students' rooms and searched their belongings. The students' diaries and e-mail messages were photocopied and distributed to their respective parents, in hope that they might shed some light. One e-mail from Medeous to Lane indicated that the two were to meet on Saturday evening to see a play, but the theater in question closed down in 1987. There is no evidence that they boarded any bus near campus on Saturday or Sunday. Campus police are continuing to cooperate with city police in contacting students for further questioning. The city police have also questioned the grandparents, Professor Andrew Carter and Mrs. Susan Carter.

 

* * *
    
    
    **From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    Subject: Honor  
    Date: 05/08/1996**
    
    Your sister has not been seen for the past three days. It's believed she  
    left campus in the company of Mabel Medeous on Saturday, and neither of  
    them have been located since.
    
    Your father knows where they are. The police can't get to this place. If  
    he isn't back in three days, I'm going to follow him. If you worry or  
    you fear, listen to the record I got you the year your father and I got  
    divorced. Janet and Tam made out all right, and so will the Lanes now.
    
    Love, Mommy
    
    * * *
    
    **From: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    To: andrew.carter@blackstock.edu  
    Subject: Mom  
    Date: 09/05/1996**
    
    Grandpa, I am afraid that Mom an Dad are going to do something bad to  
    look for Honor. The record she's talking about is by the Fairport  
    Convention. There's a song called Tam Lin, that's some old English  
    ballad. I don't see how that applies.
    
    Begin Forwarded Message  
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------  
    From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    Subject: Honor  
    Date: 05/08/1996
    
    Your sister has not been seen for the past three days. It's believed she  
    left campus in the company of Mabel Medeous on Saturday, and neither of  
    them have been located since.
    
    Your father knows where they are. The police can't get to this place. If  
    he isn't back in three days, I'm going to follow him. If you worry or  
    you fear, listen to the record I got you the year your father and I got  
    divorced. Janet and Tam made out all right, and so will the Lanes now.
    
    Love, Mommy
    
    * * *
    
    **From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
    Subject: Come Home This Summer  
    Date: 05/10/1996**
    
    Your sister is safe. (We think.)
    
    Your father and I made a stupid choice. We kept you two ignorant, to try  
    to protect you. Your sister got trapped because she didn't know the  
    danger existed.
    
    Come home this summer. The Green Thumb will be happy to hire you for the  
    summer, and we all need to talk.
    
    Love, Mommy
    
    * * *
    
    **From: honor.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
    To: svenson.seth.1995@blackstock.edu  
    Subject: I'm really OK  
    Date: 09/03/1996**
    
    I know I left very abruptly at the end of last year, and I'm sorry I  
    didn't write you all summer. I didn't have your parents' address, and it  
    only occurred to me last week that if I wrote to you at the college it  
    would probably be forwarded.
    
    Anyway, I want to say again that I am sorry and I most humbly apologize  
    for my behavior at the end of term. I was distracted because I found out  
    I was pregnant, and I didn't know what to do. When I went to Mabel, she  
    offered to take me to St. Paul to take care of it, but when I got to the  
    clinic I panicked and ran. I don't remember exactly where Mabel and I  
    went, and nobody's seen Mabel since.
    
    My dad found me on the streets, with a pretty bad fever. He took me home  
    with him to Chicago for the summer, and I made up the finals for my  
    courses. And I've transferred to Cornell College and I'm living with my  
    mother, so I can raise the baby.
    
    I don't know who the father is, so please don't ask.
    
    Your friend (I hope), Honor Lane


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